DoberMan
I aimed to put one in his head and one in his heart. When he kept moving, I panicked and unloaded the rest of the clip, firing haphazardly, until his body resembled a Swiss cheese. That was my first kill, and in the end I fucked it up so bad I had to let Foxy Brown finish the job.
Foxy Brown is my gorgeous Doberman and she was killing way before I picked up a gun. Rabbits, cats, birds flapping on their backs; it became a problem when she murdered the neighbor’s dogs. I had to cover it up. I could never allow them to put her down.
It all sorted itself out when I made the decision to take her over to my realm to accommodate her blood lust. I’d been able to do it at will ever since I was a kid. I had no clue what it was, and I still don’t, but I’ve always been able to ‘cross over’ into a different world. So, I decided, I would take her with me, we would find an animal, usually a pet, sometimes wild, and Foxy Brown would tear her to pieces. After she had had her fix, we would cross back over. It was the perfect crime. She loved it, especially as I was now joining her on these excursions and supporting her habit. Meanwhile, on this side, she became the perfect housedog and grew less angsty. I’ve had no more trouble with the neighbors.
That’s when I got the idea. I’d always fantasized about murder. I realized how easy it would be to get away with if I did it in the other realm. How can you commit a crime if you don’t exist? Besides, even if I was arrested, I could simply switch back. It was something that Foxy Brown and I could do together. I was keen to know how she would react to killing a human being, rather than another animal. As it turned out, she wasn’t bothered either way. The second world is a lot like the first, only a little more advanced. High-tech, like. There was a point when I was unsure which side I would prefer to live on full-time, but you get more value for the pound over here, so that’s why I stayed. I read in Stephen King’s The Talisman that it would be possible to make a living as an inter-dimensional tradesman, but it seemed too much like hard work. I’m a modest man. I don’t want to become famous or rich, although sometimes I cross over just to read what they’ve written about me on the internet. People call me ‘The DoberMan’, which I think is pretty funny. They know all about me. It’s not like I clean up after myself.
Since my first kill, I’ve honed my skills no end, though it is still more difficult than you might think, to finish somebody off. A headshot doesn’t always do it. I don’t discriminate over whom to kill. I don’t care about culture or creed, but since we’ve turned it into more of a hunt, I prefer to choose healthy adults. Ideally, I’d like to find a marathon runner or a soldier (returning home from a long war, to add irony, methinks) who could give us a real run for our money. As far as I know, I’ve murdered neither. That being said, you should always take care of yourself in case you get lucky. We’ve toyed around with torture but found it boring and our thirst kicks in too soon to do it all by the book. You really need self-restraint to get the most out of it. One point we did gain is just how fun blades and hammers and flames can be. I rarely use guns anymore.
There has always been an intellectual aspect to what we do. The idea, to take somebody’s life, is an interesting one. Most people will never know what it’s like. It’s comparable to having sex. All this time, you’re growing up, wondering what sex will be like and how wonderful it will be, but when you finally get around to it and you’re actually there in the moment, you come to understand that there is no ‘feeling’ you get, there is no ‘special moment’, you do not change, it’s just mutual masturbation. Killing a man, a woman, or a small child (see, no discrimination) doesn’t change you into something else, as you might imagine, although it’s certainly enjoyable. And the thought of cause and effect, the people whose lives will be changed by your actions, well that just adds to the drama, man.
But I keep coming back to this one problem. I’ve seen death scenes on television. They all make it look so simple and quick. I’ve Schwarzeneggered my way through twenty-five or so now, and each one of them has been problematic in some way. Perhaps human anatomy is different in the two realms, and people over there are tougher than they are here. It’s starting to drag on me and the novelty of shooting someone fifty times in the head is wearing thin. I’ve been thinking, maybe I should try living in the second world for a while, doing the hunts on this side, just to see what it’s like.